Write about forgiveness, He whispers and in reluctant obedience, I begin to type… memorized words from church. The scriptures I reference are friendly but foreign. I begin to understand His soft suggestion to help others so often reveals areas in myself that need deeper digging and sweet surrender. My first draft on forgiveness reads like I’m a teacher, pointer in hand, softly tapping the chalkboard to enforce a point. Do this because He said so. Indeed, but have I?
Have I fully received all the forgiveness He has provided for things I have done? Have I extended forgiveness to others for what they have done (or didn’t do)?
Taking a breather from the busy world, I sit quietly and reflect… Lord, show me where I haven’t forgiven, show me where I haven’t received forgiveness. And there it is… like the unwelcome rider on a stinky dark bus, visitors that should have been dropped off long ago. He is so patient with me, though, and tender to receive all hurts…He has been waiting for me and for this overdue deposit. He has a better exchange in hand. His peace and His joy, His love, His wisdom can now enter in.
Forgive me for holding onto this garbage too long, Lord. I surrender it to you. Have your way in my heart to love fully and receive your love.
Historically, I’ve manufactured peace, joy and love as a safety default unaware of any alternative. Exhausting and inauthentic. This weighty ‘identity’ is what I’ve known for so long, clearly it’s who I am, right? Burden is normal, right? I’m right, they are wrong. All lies and deception designed to keep us from ever fully loving others and keeping others from gaining access to love us fully. All a plot of the enemy to keep us “safe” and ineffective.
The healing transaction of forgiveness doesn’t deem approval of other’s deeds, it means we no longer carry the burden and poison of pain. Jesus said to forgive 70 x 7… complete and fully (not the same as 490 times, His math is so much deeper). Ask Him to reveal your unwelcome riders, places where He quietly whispers to forgive or encourages you to receive His forgiveness. You likely know right now, an image appearing on the eyes of your heart. Take it to Him. He has an exchange for you. Receive His healing and wholeness so you can walk free and effective.
His forgiveness is so unlike anything we’ve experienced here on Earth… our inner critic shouts ‘yeah, but, you don’t know what He did’… is Jesus not big enough for even that? Whatever it is, it’s not who you are anymore. However dark the deed, you are meant for light, sweet one. Step into it and start shining.
xo
Lisa
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